The connection activity that lets participants choose what they share
The icebreaker that turns your own curiosity into the most honest conversation in the room.
Most icebreakers ask people to answer questions they didn't choose. Questions that feel too personal, too random, or too creative to answer comfortably in front of strangers.
It shuts people down. And the awkward silence that follows? That's not connection. That's the opposite.
When Jan Keck walked me through this activity in London, I was a participant, not a facilitator. And I noticed something I rarely notice anymore: I felt genuinely curious about the people around me. Not because I had to. Because the activity made space for it.
You can only go as deep with others as you're willing to go within yourself.
Jan uses this activity with complete strangers and with teams that have worked together for years. I've tried it at a Miro meetup in Brussels with a room full of people who'd never met, and on a team retreat during a hike. Both times, it worked. The room opened up and people didn't want to stop.
Jan Keck is Vol. 03.
This week's activity
Jan KeckHow it works
Give everyone 2–3 minutes to write down two or three questions they are genuinely curious about and would like to know from the people in the room. Sticky notes work best in person.
Offer a sample question to get them started. Jan's favorite: “What's one thing you think everybody should have tried at least once in their lifetime?”
Here's the twist. Instead of asking your questions to someone else, you answer one of your own. You pick which one. You put yourself on the spot, not your partner.
Pair up, choose the question you want to answer, and share.
Switch partners. This time, people can either answer another one of their own questions, or pick a question they heard from someone else that they now want to answer themselves.
When to use it
- →Opening a workshop or training with people who don't know each other
- →Team retreats where the goal is to go deeper, not just warmer
- →Any session where psychological safety matters before the real work begins
- →Networking events where small talk is the enemy
Watch the tutorial
Jan walks through the full activity on this episode · Watch on YouTube →
Go deeper
Jan Keck is a facilitator and the author of The Campfire Method, a book about designing connection gradually, from the moment someone walks in through the door to the moment you ask them to take their biggest risk. He's spent years studying why groups open up, and why most icebreakers make it harder.
Most icebreakers fail for the same reason: they ask people to take a risk they never agreed to take. You're handed a question, put in front of the group, and expected to be interesting on demand. For some people, that's fine. For a lot of people, it's the fastest way to check out.
The Curiosity Exchange flips the whole thing. You write the questions. You choose which one to answer. You set the depth. And because you're answering your own question, something quietly powerful happens: you realize how much you were asking of other people. The questions that felt easy to write turn out to be harder to answer than you expected.
Jan calls this building the campfire, not breaking the ice. You don't drag people out of their comfort zone. You build the conditions so they want to step closer themselves. The Curiosity Exchange is one of his best tools for doing exactly that. And when it works, the room doesn't just get warmer. It gets real. That's the foundation everything else needs to stand on.
Workshop Deck App
From activity to full workshop
The Curiosity Exchange is a Connect activity, the first phase of the 6C framework. But a workshop is six phases, and each one needs to land.
Designing a workshop means wrestling with three questions: where do I start, does the flow make sense, will it actually deliver?
The Workshop Deck guides you through all six phases of the 6C framework so your agenda has real structure from opening to close. And if the Curiosity Exchange isn't the right fit for your next workshop, there are more Connect activities inside the app waiting for you, alongside battle-tested activities for every other phase, all proven by hundreds of facilitators in the room.
Jan is Vol. 03. More expert facilitators are coming, each one bringing the activity they trust most when the stakes are high. Small library. High trust. Zero overwhelm.
Hope you enjoy this one.
Mehdi
P.S. This is Vol. 03 of Signature Activities. Every edition: one expert, one activity, zero filler.
P.P.S. Already inside the app? The Curiosity Exchange is live. Open it, try it in your next session.